Letters by Karl Fletcher: A writer.
All letters are real and have been sent.
Responses are posted if they're entertaining.
I live in Philadelphia which is the city of brotherly love.
Queries
Please find the list of issues that you and I both agreed were present at the time I moved in to the apartment. I bet you’re surprised to see I held on to that shit!
I have followed your eerily specific instructions thoroughly. Accordingly, my cabinets have been cleaned using Murphy’s® Oil Soap, my walls have been spackled, all of the hangers have been removed from my closet, you will be receiving a letter in the mail containing my new address, and I have touched up the walls using MAB® Bone White paint.
I appreciate your time, consideration, and service you provided to me you sick, crazy woman.
Issue an apology and stop supporting the legislation. Until you do, I will be boycotting your company and I will advise others to do the same when I am at cocktail parties. You have made your demographic very angry. You wouldn’t like your demographic when they’re angry.
Read Airtran’s weak and insulting response that set the occasion for this correspondence here.
Dear Airtran,
In the exact same spirit that you expressed apology to me, I’d like to express gratitude to you for your response that was completely irrelevant and insulting.
Why the hell did you mention restitution or compensation? I am not interested in this. I don’t want your money.
You claim that you didn’t have enough time to warn customers of the delay. How much time do you need exactly? My flight was due to depart at 8:00. I learned of the delay in person at like 6:30. I wonder when you knew there was going to be a delay. 6? If you had e-mailed me then, I would have stayed at work and gotten things done. Tell me: When did you know the flight was going to be delayed and why was it impossible to inform me?
Read my first correspondence with Airtran, the vermin of the sky here. Below, you will find a feeble and soulless attempt to address my concerns by an inept company disinterested in serving their customers adequately.
Dear Karl,
On behalf of AirTran Airways, please accept my apology for any inconvenience you experienced during your recent travel. Our objective is to operate our flights in a safe, reliable and timely manner, which will allow our customers to reach their destinations as scheduled. Occasionally, factors outside of our control hinder our efforts. Nevertheless, when an irregularity occurs, we understand the frustration it causes and we regret the interruption to your travel plans.
To ensure consistency, it is necessary to place guidelines when issuing compensation.In keeping with industry standards, our airline does not offer restitution for flight delays that are caused by matters out of our control.I regret any disappointment this response may cause you.
Unfortunately, this delay was unforeseen and did not allow us adequate time to notify passengers. Passengers are required to be at the airport for the scheduled flight. Should a delayed flight be cleared for take off, and you are not present then you will be listed as a no show and all money for that flight forfeited. You would then be placed on standby for the next available flight. Nevertheless, we regret the interruption to your travel plans.
We thank you for including AirTran Airways in your travels and your continued support is important to us.We hope to have an opportunity in the future to regain your confidence in our airline. If I have failed to address all of your concerns, please contact me directly in a reply to this message.
